January 19, 2006
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Talking to many people from different walks of life, I hear so many stories of anger and resentment - therefore I’m convicted to write this post.
When we hold grudges, we are actually hurting ourselves more than anyone else. Sometimes when we have ill feelings towards someone, it affects us tremendously. But when we let those grudges go, we are setting ourselves FREE!
These next two quotes say it best:
“If you hold on to that anger on a chronic basis, then it has power over you, eating away at your peace of mind and perhaps even your immune system.”
“Forgiving ultimately benefits the forgiver more than the person who has done wrong.”
But how do we forgive someone who has horrendously backstabbed us? Someone who has caused a massive heartache? Someone who has used us? Someone who has been deceitful? Someone who has tortured us? It’s extremely hard, but it is possible because everyone is capable of forgiveness . . . everyone.
For some tips, read an awesome article – http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/health/features/forgiveness.html
Some personal tips to add – keep in mind that you yourself are not perfect and pray for the person who wronged you.
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Doctors at the University of Washington found that holding a grudge raises the heart rate, blood pressure, and sweat production in more than nine out of ten people. Each of these symptoms indicates an activated nervous system and increased stress hormones.
Comments (12)
good advice!
“eating away at…your immune system” i believe it. you can make yourself sick with worry, stress and anger. good advice grace:)
haha! we were just talking about stress disorders (not exactly anger per se) in my abnormal psych. class! so applicable!
Hmm…that’s very interesting. But let’s be honest, and I’m guilty of this as well, it’s so dang hard to simply forgive someone who has severely wronged you. I think that there is a difference between “moving on” and “forgiveness.” I think so many of us simply just “move on” instead of forgiving. I have to say that I am a big user of this technique. May not be the most effective/Christ-like way but it’s better than dwelling on how I was wronged. It’s not that I’m mad at that person, I just don’t forget. Interestingly enough, John Wu, Jae Bum and I were discussing the difficulties of looking through the eyes of Christ and containing anger. Let’s face it, our spirit is willing but our flesh is so weak. What we say and think may not always result in our actions. I can say to a person, “yeah it’s cool” but inside in my head I can be saying “I won’t forget.”
I’m not saying that I disagree with you, I’m just saying that this is one of those things where it’s easy to say, but difficult to do. I believe that simply convincing yourself that you forgive someone is not good enough. True forgiveness is to forgive that person in your heart…this is the hard part.
I read a chapter from Yancy’s ‘Amazing about grace’ recently that talked about forgiveness. Here’s an interesting perspective that I never considered before: ‘By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance between justice and mercy.’ On the cover of this chapter (titled ‘Unnatural Act’ which refers to forgiveness), there’s a quote from George Herbert: ‘He who cannot forgive another breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself.’
boo yes grace….boo yes…
Hi Grace!
This is Rebecca from Jubilee… wow… you talk about being set free from grudges, and your name is grace. Truly awesome. =)
Just thought that was cool.
God bless you!
-Rebecca
Have a good day! Bye!
WORD. I was actually having a conversation with a non-Christian friend about this the other day… I think I will share some of your insight with her
WORD. I know waht holding a grudge is like. It’s like being a teenager all over again. And I don’t wanna go back! Freedom Baby! ~KOOP
stress hormones! bad for muscle too!
Grace, it was so fun hanging out with you in NY…i’m excited for our next interview meeting…haha
I hear you…I find that when someone did something that I didn’t want to forgive, I was reminded of the fact that Jesus forgave me for all that I did to him…(and sometimes still continue to do) and if I can ask and then receive that forgiveness, who am I not to forgive those who need my forgiveness? oh, and that Yancey book is great.